The blue all-seeing eye of science

"What if it suffocates us in our sleep?"

"What if it ozonates our brains?"

"What if it's a hoax?"

We bandied these worrisome ideas about while clutching our pillows and staring into the blue all-seeing eye of science.

What the machine was supposed to do was emit negative ions, which then bond with positive ions in the air, which then makes them neutral, at which point they fall to the ground. This is supposed to be good because microscopic pollen bits and mold things and even gasses are supposed to be positively charged, according to the lady, so it takes everything out of the air. Then your allergies go away. The allergic particles are neutralized and fall to the ground. If anyone out there knows whether this makes sense or not, please do let me know.The thing cost $700, and the lady let us borrow it for a week, so we could see how great it works, before buying. I took this as a high sign of confidence in the machine, as I was supposed to do. But now, with the week up, I can't really imagine who would spend $700 on the thing. It smells like ozone, which is a nice smell. But other than that, there is just no way to know if its working or not. Allergies persist, as they will in New Mexico, and the machine continues to glow.