Between Sri Hari Ram and the Deep Blue Sea . . . india travel blog

Staying with a certain Punjabi family. Now these people are super nice. They feed me and water me and have made me one of them. We all hang out on the big bed in the living room and watch Bollywood soap operas every night. But things have taken a turn for the strange. My friend described his dad as a silent and imposing man. Truth is quite the opposite. He is a pussycat. He also likes to have a glass of Jim Beam and water every night. No problem. He has taken to asking me to drink with him. Also no problem. Well, actually yes, a problem. He doesn't seem to be hip to the idea of drinking on a full stomach. Its hours before the mom is going to cook dinner and he wants me to guzzle a glass of whiskey. And I mean guzzle. He isn't satisfied unless I down it in a gulp. If I don't, he keeps urging me until I do. It is impossible to say no to his big grin. I am a guest, I try to please him. That's all. I really don't want to guzzle Jim Beam hours before dinner. But I do it. So the mom comes along and sees my glass of whisky and there is a big Punjabi shouting match. I assume it has to do with why is the guest being plied with whisky, and her a lady and all? The sister translates. She says "You can sip this glass, but no more. Otherwise mama will beat you!" She is kidding about the beating, but only just. So I say yes ma'am, shanti shanti, and everything like that. Next minute mama turns her back and the dad pours my glass full to the brim. I complain he is going to get me a beating and he laughs. I don't know if he is trying to flirt with me, piss off his wife, or just have good clean drunk fun. I have to drink the glass so the wife doesn't see it fuller than before. This continues for some time until I wise up and pretend the drink was so strong it put me to sleep. That worked.

Sunday morning everyone is up and mumbling. Dad mumbles in the shower and I assume he is praying. He comes out of the shower and paces around the house mumbling. Sister has a can of water and she sprinkles it around the house, flicking this way and that indiscriminately. Shera later tells me this is a Hindu thing for cleansing the home. She picked it up somewhere and he strongly disagrees with it, but doesn't bother to comment. Incense burns throughout the house, and the altar to the Sikh gurus flashes with pink and yellow Xmas lights that are wound all around it. Mom goes to the local temple. I assume the Sikh temple, although Shera tells me she and the sister sometimes go to the Hindu place too. It's not like in America where an Episcopalian is an Episcopalian and that's that. For a lot of people, worship is more of a free for all. Everyone is getting their religion on. I try to stay out of their way. I'll never understand this stuff, I'm quite sure. They have a live broadcast of people praying and singing at the Golden Temple and watch it every morning and also sometimes at night. The people are praying in Gurmukhi, the sacred language no one understands, so they can't understand it any better than I can, but that doesn't matter. It's sacred.

If this were America, we'd say these people were in a cult, but in India its normal behaviour. Everyone is in a cult. What's life without a cult, anyway? Religion is life and life is religion. One of the two sisters has saved herself by turning out to be smart and going for a masters in computer science. All she does is study (not on a computer of course). She is also engaged to be married in a "love match" so she has got very lucky in the whole deal. The other one is not so lucky. She mops and sweeps and cooks all the time and seems to have no hobbies but these.

Apparently she didn't feel ready to get married at the typical age of 25, so now at 27 she is careening down the chute to old maidhood, and mom and dad dress up once in a while (mom in pearl earings, dad in pink turban) and go out to meet potential matches for her. I don't know if they are getting any results or what. Shera says getting a match has a lot to do with your "qualifications." Like if you have an advanced degree you'll end up with a better match. I don't know what qualifies as "better" but I guess that means someone with a decent career. 

So yeah, the whole Punjabi family thing is for sure interesting-- everything is completely communal. People sleep on beds in the living room, sleep on the couch, wherever, it doesn't matter. All their clothes are kept in one room and everything is shared as far as I can tell. Immediately, the sisters are wearing my shoes and using my brush. All things belong to all people. And they are really loving. The mom is forever brushing my hair and so forth. People are really close. There is a lot to enjoy and it's easy to relax around them. Except for the whole Jim Beam thing, but that ought to work itself out with time. Well, I haven't got a beating yet, so keep your fingers crossed . . .